Chronicles of Ancient Dumbness: The Sacred Turban
by ThyGreenThing-Phlob-Welly
Summary: "I wish we could go into my book, that would be AWESOME!"  "I wish I could see Grace,"  "I wish I could eat some kiwi right now,"  Who knows? Maybe wishes DO come true!
1. Chapter 1 Turban or No Turban?

**Disclaimer:I don't own Chronicles of Ancient Darkness!**

**Everyone in this story is real, apart from Torak and Renn :)**

**Welcome to the Chronicles of Ancient Dumbness!**

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**Chronicles of Ancient Dumbness**

**Chapter 1**

**Turban or No Turban?**

Tipping backwards on her chair, Connie fiddled with her pencil. Like her classmates, she hated history lessons. _What is the point of learning about history! _She thought, _Why don't we learn about the future! _You may have already guessed she's not the sharpest pencil in the case, but nobody cared. (Apart from the teacher, obviously.)

"Connie, don't tip back on your chair!" Mr Snow boomed across the small classroom. The blond girl did stop. Her brother smirked at her from his own chair, a few seats away. Dominic and his sister were always squabbling, but strangley they were also the best of friends.

Grumpily, Connie looked at the few scruffy words written in her history book and sighed. She bit the end of her pen as she tried to remember King Henry's last name. _Why can't we learn about the stuff in my book. That would be cool. _She thought.

Suddenly, her other friend tapped her shoulder making her jump slightly. "Connie, how many wives did Henry have?" Elizabeth (who was also blond) asked the girl sat next to her. _Divorced, beheaded, alived, beheaded, died, survied, divorced. _The dumb blond tried to remember the rhyme. "Seven!" she exclaimed, as she pointed her finger in the air. Heads turned to look at her.

"Seven? What are you on about, girl?" Teach said.

"King Henry had seven wives?"

The class laughed along with Mr. S. "Six, Connie. He had six wives,"

"Oh."

Moments later everyone went back to their work. Mr Snow walked around the room, checking that everyone was working. He approached Elizabeth and Connie's table. Out of the corner of her eye, Connie saw him pick up her beloved book. "Hmm, Chronicles of Ancient Darkness. Is it good?"

She looked up from her work that she was franticly trying to complete. "Yes, sir,"

"Okay. I might read it sometime, looks interesting,"

"It is much more interesting than history,"

Mr Snow frowned at his pupil. "I mean history IS VERY interesting...but the book is interestinger!" she said, hoping he wouldn't say anything else. Luckily he didn't because the bell went.

Everyone picked up their things and ran out of the classroom, (apart from Dominic, who fell over a piece of unconviently placed air). "Ha, Dominic. You spazzie!" Connie laughed at him as he stood up.

"At least I didn't fall over this time!" Elizabeth mentioned. The kids all nodded in agreement.

Happily, the three friends walked out of the gate. (After they had collected their rucksacks, of course.) "Bye Mr Stead!" Dominic screamed to his startled head teacher.

"Lizbef?" Connie said.

"Yes?"

"You wanna come round today?"

"Okay!"

"YAY!" Dominic shouted as he scratched his dark brown hair.

Elizabeth and Dominic started talking as they walked along the pavement; carefully avoiding the piles of dog poo. Slowly, Connie looked behind herself and her blue eyes widened. She looked horrified as Marcus smirked at her. "Hello there, Connie," he whispered, about to take her hand.

"Stay away from me!" Connie shouted.

"Why would I want to do that?" he replied as attempted to grab her hand again. She kicked him, where no boy would every liked to be kicked.

"RUN!" she screeched as she grabbed her friends hands and dragged them to her house.

They banged on the door, and were greeted by Connie's mum. "I guess Elizabeth is coming round?"

"Yeah, she said her mum wouldn't mind!"

Elizabeth smiled angelicly. "Okay, okay!"

Dominic raced up the stairs, closely followed by the two blondies. The brown haired boy sat on the end of his bbed and texted his 'girlfriend', Grace. Elizabeth sat on a small stool and Connie placed herself on the floor. She was reading her book - yet again.

"I wish we could go into my book! That would be AWESOME!" Connie sighed dreamily.

"I wish I could see Grace," Dominic stared at his phone, brown eyes sparkling.

"I wish I could eat some kiwi right now," Elizabeth whispered, licking her lips. The siblings rolled their eyes.

Connie screamed. As her hand touched her book, it went through. She put it on the floor. They all stared at it for a while. "Woa."

Dominic gingerly put his foot in the book. His black trainer disappeared in the pages. "Connie! I'm going in!"

Elizabeth's mouth opened and closed as the boy vanished in the book. "Come on, Lizzington!"

Connie pulled her gob smacked friend off the stool. And they both jumped into the book.

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The thirteen year olds huddled together. Elizabeth and Dominic guessed they were in the book, but WHERE in the book? "I'm guessing," Connie announced, "That we are in..the Open Forest!"

"That's a lot of help!" Dominic shouted.

"And I was on the last page of the last book, Ghost Hunter. So everything okayish!"

"Yay!" they shouted.

"So Renn and Torak, might be somewhere near here!"

"Who and who?"

"Dun't matter!"

Connie walked off, hoping to find someone she knew. "Wait!" Elizabeth shouted, "We're still wearing our school uniform!"

She pointed to the MMS (Mayfield Middle School) logo on Connie's navy blue jumper. "Oh, I'll think of something!"

"Not." Dominic muttered under his breath as his sister walked off.

"I heard that, Dome!"

Dominic sat down beside Elizabeth on a boulder. Everything was quiet, apart from some birds and stuff. "I still want a kiwi," she said quietly.

"Cool."

After a few minutes, a deafening scream filled the forest. Dominic cringed as he imagined what painful situation Connie had gotten into. He looked over, to see the blond doing exactly the same thing. At the same time they stood up and ran.

Eventually, Dominic spotted three people in the distance. "Elizabeth, I think she's over there!" he called.

"C'mon then, Dom!"

They ran towards the figures. There was a girl with red hair, a boy with black hair and Connie. There were two ravens hovering above them.

They finally reached their friend and the strangers. "Who are you?" the boy, who looked about sixteen said.

"I'm Connie!"

The boy was about to reply but heard the others coming and turned around, so did the red head.

"We come in peace!" Elizabeth shrieked.

"Yeah! We do! So does Connie!" Dominic added.

"And who are you two?" the girl asked this time.

"I'm Elizabeth,"

"And I'm Dominic!"

Connie ran towards her friends. "Who are you guys then?" she asked, even though she already knew the answer.

"I'm Torak and this is Renn,"

"We just left the Raven Clan. What clan are you three in?" Renn said, "And why do you look so different?"

"Err, we're from Mayfield Clan!" Connie quickly exclaimed.

"I've never heard of such a clan," Torak said.

"Well, we're not from anywhere around here!"

"Hmm."

"We're very different from other clans! As you can tell!" Elizabeth said.

"Anyway! I LOVE you're accent!" Connie squealed.

"Are you from like India or something?" Elizabeth asked them.

"India? Accent?" Torak wondered out loud.

"ARE YOU MUSLIM'S?" Dominic shouted, looking excited.

"What is a Muslims?" Renn said, looking very confused.

"OMIGOD! DO YOU WEAR TURBAN'S!" Dom shouted suddenly. There was a long silence.

"Turban or no turban?" Connie exclaimed dramatically.

"No turban?" they answered.

"Oooh. That sucks!" They wailed.

They are such cool things, all those kid's want is a turban. And they will get one! Hopefully.

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REVIEW! AND NO FLAMES PLEASE! Thanks for reading! Sorry if there are any mistakes!


	2. Chapter 2  You Scream Like a Girl

**Helloooo! It's actually Phlob here- I've decided to take over this story. Soooo, enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Chronicles of Ancient Darkness or any form of potato trees! By the way, I do know potatoes grow in the sea before you all start calling me stupid ;).**

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**Chronicles of Ancient Dumbness**

**Chapter 2 **

**You Scream Like a Girl**

Of the three newcomers, it seemed Connie was the only one enjoying the new world; Elizabeth's craving of kiwis only increased as minutes dragged by and Dominic was running around in circles, seeking any escape route out of the technology-free forest.

"Oi, Connie, did we get any history homework?" Dominic yelled at the blond.

Connie however was busy bombarding Torak and Renn with bizarre questions such as 'Do potato trees grow here?' and 'Do you have any cheese I can eat?' They had no idea what she was asking.

"Kiwis grow underground, right? Maybe I could dig some up!" Elizabeth asked Dominic.

"No! They grow on trees like potatoes do!" Elizabeth frowned in confusion as Dominic rolled about in hysterics.

Soon Elizabeth had wandered off into the unknown depths of the Open Forest, somehow unnoticed by Connie, who was still ranting about something alien to Torak and Renn. Dominic followed not two minutes after, desperately not wanting to be stuck with Connie and the strange Muslim people.

Meanwhile, Connie was in the middle of a very one-sided conversation about how many different colours of turban there are and how you put them on (how she knew that was beyond anyone). It was only when she paused for breath that Renn managed to speak. "You say you're from Mayfield Clan and that you're not from the Open Forest. Have you come from the Deep Forest?"

Connie struggled to find an answer she believed would pass as acceptable but said finally, "Er, no. We're very secretive about our location because, er, our clan leader…Robertuk Steadook wants to protect the apples from invaders. Apples are yummy!"

Confusion and doubt showed on their faces. "Apples?"

"Oh, and bananas! They're the only fruits we're allowed to eat and if you break the rules you get oranges thrown at your head!" Connie exclaimed cheerfully, clearly oblivious to the older two's bafflement.

"Whatever you're talking of, we've certainly not heard of it before. You definitely _aren't _from around here!" Torak answered, half suspicious and half in awe.

"Hang on a minute, where are your clan tattoos?" Renn asked.

Connie thought hard. She then leaned closer to the two with wide eyes, looked around her and whispered in a voice as dramatic as she could muster, "They are in a place we do not speak of!"

Torak and Renn were clearly befuddled by her words but decided not to question her further on the matter. They stood in awkward silence for a few moments.

Connie, being Connie, broke that silence with a belch so loud it could've been heard a mile away. The other two raised their eyebrows at her as she declared it was traditional in Mayfield Clan to do that after a five second silence.

"Innit 'Lizabef? Hey, where's Elizabeth and Dome gone?" The blond looked around her, seeing no sign of the other two. "What if they get in trouble? I'm not gonna be the one to explain why a bear or something turned them into Nearly Headless Nicks."

"What?"

"Uh…apples?"

"…Oh…well I suppose we can help you find your friends," Torak was given a glare by Renn as he said these words.

"Yay!" cried Connie, doing one of her 'happy dances'.

"But we can't search long. We have to get going soon," Renn added quickly.

Connie replied, clearly puzzled, "Why though? You have _loads _of time! All the time in the world actually because you've just…" she trailed off, realising what she had just said. Now she'd done it.

_Oops. _She thought.

"Wait, how do you know…?" Renn questioned slowly; she was undoubtedly suspicious of the blond now.

_Think, Connie! Something clever that they'll believe! Something like…_

"It was the apples, they-"

Connie was cut off by a loud howl; one she knew could only be Wolf…or Darkfur maybe. This was closely followed by a feminine scream-Elizabeth!

"Don't worry Lizzington! Connie the Carrot is coming to the rescue!" It was only when she'd started running -yes, running- that she realised the wolves were the good guys in the books. _Oh well, they might eat her anyway._

Torak and Renn suddenly rushed past her. Figuring that they'd sort it out, Connie halted and leaned against a tree, gasping for air. _Mr Baxter would be proud. I'm guessing that was a whole fifteen metres! _Mr Baxter was Mayfield's extremely evil P.E teacher. Five minutes passed and eventually Torak and Rend returned (looking quite irritated) with-

"Dome!"

"I almost died Connie, how cool is that?" Dominic laughed. Torak and Renn exchanged sceptical looks.

"You should be more careful you know. Wolf probably wouldn't have killed you but that's no reason to be careless," they warned him.

"What did you actually do, Dome? Hah, 'do dome'!"

Torak's expression turned to one of distaste and he said, "He attempted to feed Wolf a dead wolverine. Apparently Wolf growled and he accidently threw it at Wolf's face." From the way Torak said 'accidentally', it probably meant that Dominic did it on purpose.

Connie laughed her strange snort-laugh. "Dominic, you scream like a girl! I thought you were Elizabeth."

"Well, you scream like a man." Connie had to admit, it was kind of true.

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As the winter sky began to gradually become darker and the temperature slowly dropped, Torak and Renn announced (though rather awkwardly) that they had to leave the three and be on their way.

"We'll see you some other time, though! I still haven't forgotten about the turbans you know." Connie said. They looked doubtful but nodded politely. Once they'd departed, Dominic exclaimed, "Hey, Elizabeth's not here still!"

"Congratulations Sherlock," came the sarcastic reply.

Connie knew that they had to find Elizabeth soon or it would get too dark to see and a massive bear would come along and kill Elizabeth and then it would kill them too and there would be no one to put dinner in the oven at home. Home. It was nice being away from people all the way back in the future but Connie was getting worried now that their visit here would be permanent. She just hoped she was wrong.

If only she had a turban. That would solve everything.

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**Because you bothered to read this story, I will ask you to please review! Flames will be extinguished :)**

**Thanks for reading and I apologise for any mistakes! x**

**~Phlob~**


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